Feel you will never quite step into that ‘thing’ God has for you? Challenges knock as you attempt to step into the new?
I was on my way to clean out my sister’s apartment when I stopped to fill my car for the journey. She died a few months ago, and except for a 91-year-old mother, I am the only family member in Melbourne who can sort, clear, and clean my sister’s apartment. She died mid lockdown, and her apartment stood vacant for months, her belongings quietly echoing the life she had lived. The lengthy lockdown gave respite before facing the inevitable clearing I would have to do.
I started the job earlier in the week. 20 hours that day between three of us. I felt sad, but resilient. However, this morning I had wept several times prior to leaving my home.
Car filled, I felt fragile. How I would get through the day, let alone the next few months? Holy Spirit leant in with the reminder:
As I pulled onto the Highway I saw at the kilometre range* on my dash:
I leant in, aware He was speaking.
‘Keep your eye on the Kingdom,’ He whispered.
I continued to negotiate traffic, and I saw the range continue to climb. The type of traffic contradicted the numbers, as it reached into the high 790s and seemed to hover.
As I drove, a knowing settled, the sense that, strange and weird as it may seem, the range would peak at range 800. I wondered if it was possible for it to hit 800. Surely not in the natural, yet a glimmer of hope stirred.
800 – 8 … new beginnings 800 significant new beginnings, the new thing.
If it did, I knew what He was telling me – for my own life and for others.
‘Don’t be silly,’ I thought as I drove, and yet I kept my eye on the dash.
The burning bush noted, I had turned to see. I now expected, hoped, willed the voice of a kind Father to assure me in my grief, doubt and struggle.
The range continued to rise as I drove, it hovered and turned down.
‘It’s unlikely to peak at 800, not in this traffic.’
Regardless, I kept looking, feeling, knowing that if it peaked at 800, God was in the moment, affirming what I knew, what I hoped.
I continued to drive through the light rain, as the range numbers on the dash continued to fall…
I turned a corner, concentrating on traffic, and briefly turned my attention back again to the dash.
And suddenly, there it was!
Ever so briefly, 800.
And with that, He affirmed what I already knew, yet I felt loved and seen in that moment:
Refuel to keep your focus on the Kingdom of Heaven, and you will have more than enough for the journey.
God is Good!
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33
*petrol range: our car has an indicator that shows an estimate of how far you can travel on your current fuel given current driving conditions. Sometimes there is a requirement to refuel first, in order to see the Kingdom clearly, but for us to step into the New Thing, we must keep our gaze focused clearly on Jesus.
© Beth Kennedy 2021