There are times when we all doubt ourselves …

Did he really say that?  Was I on the money?  Oh, my gosh, I stuffed that one up!

All of us are on a journey of discovery … discovery of who we are, Whose we are, learning how to hear the Father’s voice …

The last story posted (the Sound of Healing) was a story of miraculous healing.  The healing occurred at a conference two years ago.  I had been invited to that conference to minister, as part of a team.  The first night had been challenging, for me.  I was stretched.  It was a worship rehearsal where we were called to minister to the worship team, give words of prophecy etc …

Now I had done this type of thing before … but each time I have to step out this way, particularly in a church, I get nervous … very nervous!

On this particular night I was tired, but I stepped into it, knowing God wanted the team touched more than I did, and I briskly told myself to get on with it!

I came to a man (who I later knew as G) who immediately seemed to me to be tired.  It was like he had lost hope.  I could tell he was a mature Christian, a seasoned Christian, and I knew he was a man of integrity and I felt he was battle weary.  I cannot remember the full extent of the word, but it was a word of a new season, that a new sound was coming.  That he had been a warrior and now the fight was over, that there was something new on the horizon …

Now, from my perspective he looked to me like he had “heard it all before” … and in response I felt like I had missed the mark … I tried to encourage him and said ‘you watch something new is coming … “ but as I did I felt a strong desire to retreat to run away … even to cry … I felt I had completely and utterly stuffed up, and that although it was an encouraging word, it had not been received well and was completely “off”…

I moved onto the next person to give the next word, trying to shake the feeling off, trying to gather my thoughts and step out again in trust that I would hear well … feeling a dismal failure, and a right goose!

The prophesying finished, and he walked up to stage to play.  I was relieved that the ministry time was over … and I felt the accusations come … the voice saying “you missed it … you can’t and don’t hear from God well … he knows you are no good at this … you might as well give up … who do you think you are anyway …”

I shrugged it off, and tried to press into God, knowing I had followed prophetic protocol and had kept the words that night encouraging.

Now, I tell this story because it was two years later that I “bumped into” this man and his wife (who was healed miraculously that weekend).  We were in the line for a ride at a theme park of all places!  We caught up for dinner that night and it was there that they told me that it was that word that I had given that night … that word that I had so doubted, that the man had held onto and taken home and it had been the catalyst for them to step out in faith and believe for his wife’s healing that weekend … I had no idea!

She wrote to me the following in an e-mail:

In regard to your prophetic word…. it was the Thursday night at the Creative Meeting when you all were praying and prophesying over the musicians that were going to be involved over the Wonders Conference weekend. You were praying over G and said to him that he had been a warrior, that he had gone through a great battle and that it was drawing to an end, that a new beginning was about to commence – the fight was over.  … you have no idea how excited G was when he came home that night after you prophesied those words over him.  I know that you wouldn’t have had a clue how significant your words were, or if they meant anything at all to G but ‘far out’ they were so spot on and you verbalised the very words of God Himself. The words God spoke through you were what began the faith growth in G, and then G speaking them to Pastor Mark, and then me – and the outcome of God healing me caused the biggest growth in faith in our church that continues to grow daily. It all began … with your prophetic word. (you may be blown away now and even cry a little because of how great God is, and all we have to do is make ourselves available and let God do the rest – let Him speak, let Him lead, let Him heal – all we have to do is be there).

She later wrote to me:

In response to your comments, you’re exactly right we all play our part, no one more important than the other. God orchestrates it all, brings us all together to play our part. There was your prophesy which got the ball rolling, advising G that it’s over – [that he’d] well and it’s time! G’s faith and obedience to talk to Mark and then to confess his faith in front of everyone on the Saturday afternoon session, then there was Pastor Mark’s faith, boldness and courage in obedience to take the whole church to the chicken line, then there was Fergus [the drummer on Saturday morning] who felt ‘oh my goodness! What am I doing!!’ There was Ally [worship leader, singer], who was obeying and worshiping and prophesying in song as God led her, then there was me and all I had to do was lay there, and my part wasn’t any more important than anyone else’s – we were all instruments in an incredible performance that God was putting on/performing!! Praise God!!! I get so excited talking/writing about it.  … you should definitely include your prophesy and how you felt and the actual impact of your word. … I really feel you need to write about it because there is so much for people to learn from your experience. You thought (felt condemned) that you had said something so far off base, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth. I think G’s look probably came from sheer shock of how incredibly accurate you were, and maybe too, it was perhaps a little naivety on his part – this prophesying etc was all very new to him. 

And so I have written about my part to encourage others to step out and let God.  I am humbled by all that A writes and I feel privileged to be a small part of an unfurling of a healing miracle that sparked a bush fire of faith in their Church … and so, the reason I write is to show that He can use anyone at any time, that how we feel about our so called “performance” is not relevant … it is our heart attitude of doing our best and being available to Him that matters … for we don’t know the plans that He has for ourselves or for others, but we do know, without a doubt, that whatever His plans are, they are plans to bless us, to give us a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11 NASB) and, I know this for sure: that if I can be used … then anyone can be used purely and simply because …

God IS Good!